


Sober Up

by Zygella



Series: Diamond Visits [15]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Amethyst causes chaos, Drunk morons, F/F, as per usual, lmaoooo, rip the lizard...lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 09:54:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17826509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zygella/pseuds/Zygella
Summary: Gems can get drunk. Amethyst exploits the hell out of this.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for suggesting this Tiggy this was actually fun to write lmaoooo
> 
> I TAKE FIC PROMPTS ON DISCORD! So join the discord you cowards: https://discord.gg/9pSaABF

It was the rather rare occasion that all three of the Homeworld Diamonds were visiting Earth at the same time, but it seemed to be well received. Blue was currently sitting on the beach as per usual, Blue Pearl and Pearl sitting with her. Yellow and White had left their pearls back on Homeworld, but Blue wanted to take her constant small companion with her this time. Besides, Blue Pearl helped her out on being less awkward when talking to Pearl. Their chatting was interrupted by a cackling howl. Pearl’s expression dropped into an ‘oh no’ face as she peered behind the cool Diamond, realizing it was exactly what she thought was happening.

 

“Amethyst! You went out and got White and Yellow  _ DRUNK?! _ ”

 

Said purple Gem seemed a little loopy, tripping over her feet for a moment. “Relax, P! They wanted to have fun, so I took them out for a great tim!” She paused, squinting up at the Diamonds following behind her. “Huh, when did you guys return to your normal sizes?”

 

Said Diamonds looked… absolutely trashed. Pearl got up and walked over to Amethyst, positively screeching.

 

“HOW MUCH DID YOU HAVE?!”

 

Amethyst let out another cackle. “A couple. I’d usually get smashed but I didn’t want to leave these big babies to their own devices. However… I don’t know how much they had. Probably a lot more than me.”

 

Blue watched her fellow Diamonds exhibit odd behaviors. They looked unnaturally aloof. White seemed to be on the verge of tears, while Yellow was looking past her, giving murderous expressions at the ocean of all things. She tilted her head and addressed Pearl.

 

“What’s wrong with them?”

 

Pearl sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Okay. Humans have made this thing called alcohol. Which is practically poison for them to consume, but only in excess. It basically turns off any inhibitions a person… or Gem… can have. Leading them to do stupid, awkward, reckless things. Amethyst, this is so irresponsible!”

 

Oh.  _ Oh.  _ Blue could definitely see how this could be a problem. But also she saw potential. Potential for her fellow Diamonds to be uncharacteristically entertaining. She turned to Blue Pearl with fierce mischief in her eyes. “I want you to take note of everything that happens from here on out. This might be absolutely glorious.”

 

Blue Pearl nodded without a word, but Blue took notice of a small smirk playing on the pale gem’s face as she turned back to look at her fellow Diamonds. She would start with White. Feigning innocence, she frowned, now addressing the glowing diamond. “White? Why are you crying?”

 

Said Diamond began to sob, crouching down to near the sand. “I-I stepped on a tiny Earth creature… not a human but… one of the things th-that live here! It didn’t deserve to die!” She wailed.

 

Blue looked at Amethyst for conformation.

 

“She missed it by three inches. I tried to explain that she didn’t kill the lizard, but she wouldn’t listen to me.” Amethyst shrugged, rolling her eyes.

 

Blue could barely contain her laughter. Never in a million years would her fellow Diamonds act this way in their right minds. White, even with the new changes, probably wouldn’t overreact like this. This was pure GOLD.

 

“I’m gonna… fight the ocean. It’s too big. Nothing should be bigger than us.” Yellow mumbled out randomly, stalking over to the water with a few stumbles along the way.

 

Amethyst was cackling again at this point, Pearl groaning in exasperation. Blue was finding it harder and harder not to join in with the purple gem and laughing. Very hard.

 

“Amethyst, now we have to deal with drunk diamonds for however long it takes for them to sober up. God, this is why I wish alcohol didn’t work on Gems…” Pearl chastised, keeping up her ‘I am so done’ tone.

 

“Shouldn’t it take less time for us than humans? We’re the superior species here.” Amethyst shot back with a shit eating grin.

 

Blue snickered. Pearl looked about ready to strangle the purple gem.

 

“That doesn’t mean we don’t have to deal with  _ this! _ ” The pearl squawked, gesturing violently towards Yellow, who was currently trying to build a wall out of sand to block the ocean waves from lapping at the shore.

 

“This is fine, P. At least they aren’t causing like, actual chaos.”

 

“Oh, you never see the point to what I’m saying!”

 

Blue laughed a bit more at the two arguing, Blue Pearl beside her, seemingly trying to hold in her own laughter. Yellow suddenly appeared right in front of the blue gem, squinting intensely at her with a goofy grin.

 

“You’re… so pretty, Blue…” She said breathlessly.

 

Blue felt her body freeze up, save for her warming cheeks. Blue Pearl let out a small laugh from beside her. Pearl gawked at the interaction, while Amethyst fell to the sand in a fit of laughter. Even White was watching with curiosity and something akin to amusement.

 

“You make me feel so happy sometimes, you know that?” Yellow continued.

 

Blue was positively trembling. This… this was all very sweet, but it seemed like something that should be more private, and something to be said while Yellow was in her actual right mind. It didn’t stop her from secretly wanting to hear more.

 

Yellow reached out and placed a hand on the diamond’s cheek. “You. Only you. Mean the world to me.”

 

Blue shivered. Oh, how it did her wonders to hear her say this. But this was a conversation they needed to have in PRIVATE.

 

“Yellow, you’re drunk.” She stated bluntly, while she found her own hand coming to rest on top of Yellow’s.

 

Yellow then pouted at her. “So? Th-that… doesn’t make it any less true!”

 

Blue, absolutely flustered out of her mind, giggled lightly. “Come here, let’s just take a bit of a rest until you feel better. We can have this talk later.”

 

Yellow practically collapsed into her arms, snuggling her face into her shoulder, mumbling something about how she loved Blue’s hugs. Blue wrapped her arms protectively around the diamond, grinning stupidly from ear to ear, addressing Amethyst and Pearl one last time.

 

“Could you two take care of White while I keep Yellow from doing anything else embarrassing?”

 

Pearl practically yanked Amethyst towards White and she waved her hand dismissively. “Yes! Of course, you have fun with your  _ lover  _ over there.”

 

Blue Pearl kept softly giggling while Blue fumbled for a comeback. She didn’t have one, so she just rolled her eyes while Amethyst stuck out her tongue at her. She watched the two gems tend to the elite Diamond as she zoned out, hyper focusing on Yellow’s breath into her shoulder. She sighed with embarrassed amusement, before shoving her face into Yellow’s shoulder and indulging completely over the fact she was cuddling her Yellow.

 

She also made a mental note to never let her hear the end of this when she sobered up.


	2. Blue's turn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because Discord chat wanted Blue's turn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for Tiggy, Apathetic, and Dank for helping me write this second bit lmao

"What do you MEAN you got Blue drunk?!"

 

Pearl raised her arms in defense. "I didn't do it! She said she wanted to explore, so I took her to Jersey, because that city is certainly more entertaining, and she insisted we go into a--" Pearl stopped, fumbling on the next few words. Did the Diamonds know, she wondered? "Blue insisted we go into the damn gay club of all things. And I relented, more phone numbers for my collection I rationalized, but while I was off hunting she went and got herself wasted! Wasn't me! I thought she would know better after last time!"

 

Yellow looked exasperatedly at Pearl as she shrugged. Of course this would happen. Blue's playful side had a knack for causing mayhem. White wasn't here this time, so she couldn't exactly help... she was the only one of the right size to deal with the wasted Diamond.

 

"Yellow, let's have some fun~" Blue cooed, much to the golden gem's embarrassment.

 

Pearl covered her mouth to stifle her laughs. "She's a flirty drunk! Hah, good luck with that. Shouldn't be too much of a problem, she is your girlfriend."

 

Yellow spluttered at the comment while trying to keep Blue's touchy hands off of her. She was absolutely not having a situation like this when the other gem was out of their mind. That just reeked of bad idea.

 

"Blue, no, you are drunk, this isn't a good idea."

 

Blue stopped her advances for a moment, pouting at her. "Let me love you, Yellow."

 

Yellow made a face. "You can do that when you aren't drunk."

 

Pearl had since left them on the beach, but Yellow noticed soft footsteps behind her and she turned around to see who it was. It was Amethyst.

 

"Yo. Pearl sent me out here to watch you handle Blue. I'm basically useless backup, but I figured this can be entertaining." She said casually, sitting down in the sand.

 

Yellow huffed. "Great. So the plan is to wait until she's back to normal. That's how sobering up works, righ-- aah!"

 

Yellow had only turned her back for a minute, and yet Blue was at it again. Yellow felt her bump into her back, her arms curling around Yellow's stomach, fingers intentionally curling in on the area. Blue rested her chin on her shoulder, a wide, sneaky grin resting on her face. Crap. Yellow knew exactly what she was up to.

 

Trying her best to ignore the feeling that was beginning to grow, she frantically slapped Blue's hands away. "No, stop, Blue, you know I'm ticklish there. Hands off."

 

Blue persisted, of course. Yellow didn't know why every time Blue wanted to be playful it turned into 'embarrass Yellow at all costs' but here they were. Blue managed to get a particularly good jab in at her side, causing Yellow to yelp and nearly jump out of her skin, tearing herself away from the other gem with a glare. Amethyst simply sat off to the side, watching the spectacle with smug glee.

 

“Blue.” Yellow put on her best commanding voice, trying to regain control of the chaotic situation. “I said no. We’re going to be civil and do nothing until you are back to normal.”

 

Blue pouted again, crossing her arms. “You’re no fun.”

 

Yellow sighed heavily. “Blue, how much did you even drink?”

 

“Mmm?” She stumbled as she put her hands on Yellow’s shoulders. Her words were slurred. “Couple….hundre’. Mthink. Not sure…”

 

Yellow blanched. “Alright! I’m never letting Pearl take you anywhere for the rest of time. Why would you have that much?! Didn’t last time teach you anything?!”

 

Blue smirked. “Last time… taught me that you’re a soft baby when you’re drunk.”

 

Yellow blushed, breaking eye contact. “That’s not the point. The point was that it makes you do things you wouldn’t normally do.”

 

Blue gave her a look. “Don’t be like that. I loved how open you were when you weren’t thinking. It was adorable. Also, you tried to fight the ocean. The ocean.”

 

Yellow blushed deeper. “I said that wasn’t the point!”

 

Amethyst laughed at this. Yellow sighed. “You’re absolutely no help.”

 

“Yeah, well what am I going to do? Blue just wants your attention.” The purple gem replied lazily. 

 

Said Diamond was now swaying on her feet, and Yellow rushed to steady her. “We’re sitting down now.”

 

Yellow guided the cool gem to the sand, sitting down herself, while Blue tried to worm her way into sitting on Yellow’s lap. She wrapped her hands around Yellow’s waist. Blue leaned her head against Yellow’s chest, closing her eyes and nuzzling her nose against her.

 

Yellow tried in vain to move her sprawled out legs into a more comfortable position, only to find that Blue had gone limp in her arms. She could feel a soreness start to settle its way into her knees. Still, she couldn’t risk moving and waking Blue. She was stuck. This was her life now.

 

Amethyst laughed again. “Just deal with it. She’ll be back to normal later.” 

 

Cue Yellow, Blue, and Amethyst sitting on the beach until sunrise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dabs  
> never ask me for this again

**Author's Note:**

> Inhibitions = none on alcohol  
> fun times  
> moving on....


End file.
